


The great inhuman Catastrophe

by SkeletonHypetrain



Category: Overlord (Triumph Video Games), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Rock & Rule (1983), The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 10:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13972755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkeletonHypetrain/pseuds/SkeletonHypetrain
Summary: In this Parodyfic, A human version of basil finds the necronomicon,what possibly will be so wrongu?





	1. Chapter 1

The great inhuman catastrophe  
Le Author´s note: this is a human version-fic of basil and all that.

 

Chaptah One: the Brophecy

Basil was on his house, sitting on his sofá, staring at the chimney, he remembered his last battle against his rival, now ded, its been like a year I guess, idk, but then he heard that someone knock at the door, who could it be, basil walked very slowly to the door, he opened it very slowly and he found a shadow demon wearing an fedex uniform, basil saw also a fedex truck  
The shadow demon said: special delivering.  
The shadow demon throws the package to basil, then the demon drive away with his truck.  
Basil was confused, what was inside that box, a furby?, a book?, something horrendous?.  
As he closed the door, he opened the box, it was book with a face on it.  
Basil was shocked, then the book opened its eyes, the book said: I am the almighty necronomicon.  
Basil said with a shaky voice: what do you want?  
Necronomicon said: if you want to bring something important, you need 5 black candles, red paint and a table.  
Basil paid attention to the book, then the necronomicon said: after you have those materials, you must go to the hill, then basil followed the necronomicon´s Instructions.  
Then he went to the town´s hill, near the cemetery, the book told him to draw a satanic pentagram with the paint, then he placed the black candles and light them, then at the table, he placed the book, the book opened and turned some pages to show a text that said: you must said this.  
Basil said: ade due damballa, give me the power I beg of you!.  
Then the sky turned with clouds and all that.  
The book suddenly closed and said: wait,wait,wait, wrong spell, wrong franchise.  
The book opened again, turned the pages, and stop to other text.  
Basil said: klaatu barada nikto.  
Then a lighting was seen at the cemetery, then basil ran away with the book.

Basil was a nervous while making this, what he´ll expect.  
Anyway it´s been like some weeks after what happened, basil was at the subdemon, with paul merterns, paullie was at her shop with mok.  
Paullie was at her computer watching some videos; Mok was reading some comics form the shop.  
It was normal that day, until fidget appeared; he was running towards them, he looked scared.  
Fidget: OMG, HE´S BACK, HE´S BACK.  
Paul said confused: yo, fidget,tell me who´s back.  
Fidget: he´s back..  
Paul: who?  
Fidget: padraic ratigan  
Paul: oh that´s ok..wait,wait, WHAT!  
Basil: oh my god.  
Mok heard that unfortunate news and said: WHAT?!.  
Fidget: he´s back from hell, I don’t know what happened!  
Paullie didn’t paid attention to that, she was Watching on the computer some Ugandan knuckles memes while smoking weed on her bong.  
Paul:PAULLIE!  
Paullie fell off from the chair.  
Paullie:what?  
Paul: Padraic has return from hell.  
Paullie: what day is it?  
Paul: I don’t know  
Paullie don’t worry pal, im gonna chack my replica of my eldritchan mayan calendar.  
Paullie get up and she walked towards to her calendar, she look at it and she was surprised.  
Paullie: y´all, today is the day, the brophecy is true, the day when the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse will arise from their hellish realm, the day when the eldritch will come to spread hell, the madness, the abominable one who will kill us with the 10 plagues or 9 according to him, the end of the end, the beginning of the apocalypse, and we are all fucked, also what day is it?  
Paul: ermm, today is 2nd of July  
Basil: isn’t that the day, when hee died  
Paullie looked again at the calendar.  
Paullie: jesus Christ on a motorcycle, we are all EXTREMELY FUCKED, don’t worry paul and banana, we can help ya, with the merterns and Mok.  
After that the merterns, basil and mok went to the upper floor of the subdemon, where it includes mok´s office . But near mok´s office, theres a door that connects to a parking from a private shopping hall, it´s called la resistance.  
As the group entered they found celebi and deoxys.  
Celebi said: oh,are you alright, ive heard those news.  
Deoxys: yeah, we are now preparing the stuff,  
Paullie: allright everything is prepared.  
Paul: prepared for what.  
Paullie: I will tell ya in chaptah 2.

End of chaptah 1


	2. Chaptah 2: be prepared or not

The great inhuman catastrophe.

Chaptah 2: be prepared… or not  
Previously on the great inhuman catastrophe  
Basil said: klaatu barada nikto.  
Fidget: OMG, HE´S BACK, HE´S BACK.  
Paul: who?  
Fidget: padraic ratigan  
Paul: oh that´s ok..wai,wait, WHAT!.  
Paullie: jesus Christ on a motorcycle, we are all EXTREMELY FUCKED, don’t worry paul and banana, we can help ya, with the merterns and Mok.

We´re back at chapter 2, the team were on the la resistance.  
Paullie: well, its time to prepare all of this.  
Basil: what.  
Paullie: I should recommend you to read my newest book!  
Basil: it´s ``everyday we stray further from god´s light´´?  
Paullie: no, it´s `` the darkening for dummies´´  
Llie gave the book to basil.  
Paullie said: well, you guys need to know about the main things to be prepared, first the disguise.  
Then paullie had transformation sequence just like in pokemon, and thus appeared her, wearing a banana costume.  
Then paul took a sailor moon stick, then he said:  
MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE UP!.  
And then paul had sailor moon transformation sequence, revealing his costume: a seifuku.  
Basil looked confused, then he looked at mok.  
Basil: what are you wearing?  
Mok: you don’t like my dancing lobster costume?.  
Paullie: c´mon basil, you have a costume right?  
Basil: yes…  
While the merterns were speaking, they saw basil, wearing a gorilla costume.  
Paullie: you´re great, well, the second thing would our pokemon.  
Paullie went towards to a pokemon pc.  
She said: hrmm, maybe I would choose giratina, dialga, black kyurem and celebi.  
Paul went to the poke-pc and said: nah, im gonna choose suicune and deoxys  
Paullie: well, the the third thing is preparing some stuff, like the clothes, money, and all that, im gonna get my car.

Hours later, after they prepared the thingus, paullie was driving the car.  
Paullie: you know what, a darkening goes better with music.  
Paullie pulled out a disc and put it on the music player, the music was: what is love? By haddaway.  
And they recreated that SNL sketch known as night at the Roxbury.  
While the fellas recreated that , they saw something.  
Paullie: who the fuck is dat?, oh god, quickly everyone put the disguise glasses.  
Basil didn’t know what the hell is goin on, but he put the glasses anyway.  
She drives slowly, and then stop, she put down the glass of the car, the shadowy figure looked at her like: wtf are you wearing.  
She slowly looked at the figure.  
The intense was intense, everyone was shocked.  
But then the shadowy figure looked at paul,then at basil, he was like: wtf, then he go away.  
Paullie and everyone took off their glasses and continued the driving, and then she saw a McDonalds.  
She drive to the mcauto, she asked to everyone: do you want something?.  
They said yes, except basil.  
Then a worker saw them and said: hi welcome to mcdonalds, may I take your order.  
Paullie said: yes, for me, I wanna 3 big macs, 4 cheeseburgers, 5 large fries, 1 large coke, 2 chocolate milkshakes, some cookies and cinnamon melts.  
Paul: I just want a 20 nugget-pieces.  
Worker: what sauces do you want?  
Paul: well, honey mustard, barbecue, sweet n sour and the sauce that bring everyone to the madness.  
Worker: ya mean the Szechuan sauce?  
Paul: yes.  
Worker: well at least you aren’t those crazy ones.  
Mok: nah, I just want a black coffee.  
Worker: ok, that would be 30 $.  
Paullie:ok.  
After the mertens have their mcdonalds foode, and still driving.  
Mok asked to Paul: paul, what the hell is the Szechuan sauce and why it brings people to madness.  
Paul replied: oh you wanna know it, well, the Szechuan sauce is a mcdonalds sauce that appeared in 1998 to promote the Disney film mulan, I remember eating those mcnuggets with that sauce when I was babysitting paullie, I really like that and paullie too, but it disappeared, not until an adult swim original series known as Rick and Morty, when an episode released on april fool´s day, Rick mentions the Szechuan sauce, and thus began the toxic Szechuan fandom, everyone went Ape shit crazy, except me, when I saw the return of that sauce it brings me nostalgia.  
Paullie: Paul don’t forget about the cult of Szechuan, a sect made by more ape shit crazy fans who want only that sauce, and some people burned 5 mcdonalds just because they didn’t have that.  
Paul: don’t forget that guy on mcdonalds who yelled: IM PICKLE RICK!.  
Mok: wow, so this happened after they resurrect me.  
Paullie stoped driving in one spot of the city and they went out of the car.  
Paullie: well, theres nothing here of darklings, were are gonna to continue our journey  
but first we have to get changed, we´re gonna to that seven eleven,ok?  
Then our fellas went to the seven eleven´s restrooms, just to wear her casual clothes. As they changed their clothes.  
while the merterns were walking, paul took one of his pokeballs and said: celebi,suicune I choose you.  
Paullie: paul, theres no time for the pokemon.  
Paul: you guys, don’t be afraid,ok  
Celebi: we can do it,paul,  
Then celebi and suicune went away.  
Paullie: and how about deoxys.  
Deoxys: im here.  
Paullie: deo  
Deoxys: don’t worry about me, i´ll be okay.  
Then deoxys went away.  
Thus the group like the lord of the rings, will face the horrors of the eldritchean….

End of chaptah 2.


	3. Chapter 3

The great inhuman catastrophe

Chapter 3: the cheese-burger inceptioning

Previously on the great inhuman catastrophe  
Paullie: well, you guys need to know about the main things to be prepared, first the disguise.  
Paul: MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE UP!.  
Mok: you don’t like my dancing lobster costume?.  
Paullie: who the fuck is dat?, oh god, quickly everyone put the disguise glasses.  
We now continue with the team but something is out from the extraordinary.  
Basil woke up in a room, but he only saw paullie on sitting on one of those rotating chairs, she was waiting for him.  
Paullie: hello Banana.  
Basil:where am i?.  
Paullie: don’t worry, it seemed that you have a panic attack, but first things first, I gonna give you two pills, but you have two choose one, if you take the blue pill, you´ll wake up in your house, but if you take the red pill, you´ll access to something out of the normal world… MACHINES!.  
Basil took the red pill, as he took the red pill, he woke up on a cafeteria, with paullie.  
Paullie: well, basil as you can see, everything is chaging.  
Basil: what do you mean?.  
Paullie: the sherlockian lore is now old, people want something new, something inceptional, something interstellar.  
Basil: what?  
Paullie: that the detective genre is now old, you need to change, hey,look.  
Basil look to the left. He saw the part of the city bending.  
Paullie:c´mon lets go.  
As they go out from the cafeteria, basil saw the oculusyte, galactican-esque utopia.  
Paullie: does anybody told ya about the guardians of kingdomia.  
Basil look confused: who told you this.  
Paullie: the hooded hood.  
Basil: ah, I know, that friendly nazgul who tells weird stories.  
Paullie: he said there´s the ancient guardians of kingdomia: a country near the realm where takes place Overlord, the world(the game, not the anime). The guardians consists of eldritch, shutzee-rah, argenta, aurum and more.  
It is said that the almighty eldritch will appear to save us from the awful brophecy.  
Basil: isn’t that the darkening?  
Paullie: the darkening is a different thing, and the brophecy is a major one.  
Basil: oh, I know.  
Then basil appeared on a white background, sitting on a sofa, with paullie, and theres a tv.  
Basil said: ``why whe are changing from place to place?!.  
Paullie: yo, im dr.strange´s daughter, what are you going to expect?  
Basil:oh sorry.  
Paullie: as you can see on this tv, you can see it´s the internet, where there´s a realm called hell.. I mean the fandoms, some fandoms are good, some fandoms are bad, the worst is…  
Basil: why there´s a picture of me kissing padraic?  
Paullie: it´s a tradition in the Sherlock fandom, shipping the hero with the villain.  
Basil: ok.  
Paullie: and then your fandom, it is good, and bad.  
Basil:why bad?  
Paullie: because those rodent OC´s bump out in your house just to have a romantic adventure?  
Basil: oh god.  
Paullie: don’t worry banana, you are THE CHOSEN ONE.  
Basil has now the neo from matrix outfit.  
Basil:AAAAH.  
Paullie: the reason of why explain the kingdomia and the chosen one bullshit it was just to fill the plot, but you look great with the neo costume, well you have to be like neo, but first im gonna wake you up.  
The two fellas stood up.  
Paullie: stay, this gonna hurt you a little.  
And then Paullie punched Basil, that punch woke up basil. Then he woke up at one of the bases at the subdemon.  
He saw paullie  
Paullie said: hey, banana, did ya woke up?  
Basil: yes, but where´s paul and Mok?  
Paullie:they are here.  
Basil saw Mok and paul having a conversation.  
Mok: paul I didn’t know that you can parkour  
Paul: hahahaha!  
Mok: but, you fight like a cow.  
Then paul stopped laughing, he started to remember something bad.  
Mok: what´s happening?  
Paullie: it´s a flashback, c´mon mok, let’s put our hand in our foreheads to see that memory.  
As she and mok put their hans on their forheads. A flashback started.  
As you know, if someone saw the 2009´s Sherlock movie, you know what im talking about, it was in that scene when Sherlock was in a boxing match.  
Well, it was paul vs padraic, but paul ended up like padraic´s punching bag like those punching bags from super smash bros.

Paul lied on the floor, he was crying, his hair hide his face, he saw padraic.  
Padraic: you fight like a cow, paul, you´re such a pussy!  
Everyone who was placing bets, they laughed at paul, He screamed and started cry while ratigan was beating him up.  
Meanwhile, a 17 year old paullie was watching the fight. Like hades was watching hrcules killing that hydra.  
Paullie: I didn’t waste the 5 $ for this bullshit.  
Gnarl: it´s incredible that this man can beat up your friend.  
Paullie: gnarl, I think im gonna talk very seriously with him.  
Gnarl: ok, well, at least when you become the next overlord, you are going to marry him.  
Paullie: OF COURSE IM NOT GOING TO MARRY HIM!.  
Gnarl: just kidding, sire, I know you that you hate him.  
Paullie: don’t do that, you almost scare me!  
Gnarl: oh, it seemed that the fight is over.  
Paullie: *sigh*.  
After the flashback ended, the current 18 yr old paullie and Mok woke up from paul´s flashback.  
Paullie: Hey, I didn’t remember that!, but I miss gnarl…  
Then, paul became angry and said: I´M NOT A COW!.  
Suddendly, paul grabs mok and tried to punch him, but paullie stop him.  
Paullie: Mok, you don’t know that paul has PTSD?.  
Mok: oh sorry paul.  
Paul:its okay…  
Mok: hey paullie you have any flashback after paul´s.  
Paullie: I don’t kno-  
Then the windows xp shutdown sounded.  
Mok sighed and do the same thing to enter a flashback.  
But the flashback showed the blue screen of death.  
Mok: oh c´mon!  
But the flashback went back.  
It was about the 17 yr old llie at the room with first-aid kit, she was with pad.  
Paullie: hold still ratigan, it might hurt.  
Padraic: don’t worry about that my dear.  
Paullie: I think that´s it.  
Padraic: oh my sweet moth, you´re the only thing I have.  
Paullie: don’t touch me.  
Then Mok woke up after the flashback, and paullie started to puke.  
Paullie: da fuck happened?, well anyway, lets get back to business,see ya.  
Then the mertens went right to one of the buildings in the city.  
Paullie was exploring the building while drinking a coke, she seemed bored.  
She said: what happens next?  
And suddenly, it appeared ratigan form the darkness  
Padraic: hi theeere.

And this moment we can see that paullie is having a heart stroke and….  
Insert We´ll be right back meme here.  
Now a musical moment!, an oculusyte will sing to us the song of stone tower(lyrics by the youtube Magnagunimon):  
All I need is to be free Free from this melancholy   
Something wrong has happened to Stone Tower A great curse awakened all of us Jus a song A melody of sadness Played for those whose journey has been lost  
Some lost souls that have just reborn Try to escape from down below Would we all face out the light? Or the valley will still be dark   
Stone Tower’s roars Ikana’s will fall shadows consume As years are passing through   
Someone turn me upside down ‘Cuz I’m spinning all around   
Someone’s here climbing up the tower Stones fall down while darkness fills the town Many years have passed since my last journey I came here while crying for some help   
This big maze Puzzles ahead Some dead ends And not good fates I got lost, Some time ago And could never get back home  
Inkana falls Twinmolds getting strong Ikana fears The war has begun.  
End of Chaptah 3


	4. Chapter 4

The great inhuman catastrophe

Chaptah 4: EvanHELLion

Previously on the great inhuman catastrophe.  
Basil:where am i?.  
Paullie: I gonna give you two pills, but you have two choose one, if you take the blue pill, you´ll wake up in your house, but if you take the red pill, you´ll access to something out of the normal world… MACHINES!.  
Paullie: don’t worry banana, you are THE CHOSEN ONE.  
Basil:AAAAH.  
Paul: I´M NOT A COW!.  
Padraic: hi theeere.

After the start of chaptah 4, we made a version of the evangelion intro based on this fic, and paullie will sing it with her bad singing and bad Japanese:  
zankoku na tenshi no you ni  
Shounen yo shinwa ni nare  
aoi kaze ga ima  
mune no DOA wo tataite mo  
watashi dake wo tada mitsumete  
hohoen deru anata  
sotto fureru mono  
motomeru koto ni muchuu de  
unmei sae mada shiranai  
itaike na hitomi  
dakedo itsu ka kizuku deshou  
sono senka ni wa  
haruka mirai mezasu tame no  
hane ga aru koto  
* zankoku na tenshi no TEEZE  
mado hen kara yakate tobi tatsu  
hoto bashiru atsui PATOSU de  
omoide o uragiru nara  
kono sora wo daite kagayaku  
shounen yo shinwa ni nare  
zutto nemutteru  
watashi no ai no yurikago  
anata dake ga yume no SHISHA ni  
yobareru asa kakuru  
hosoi kubisuji o  
tsuki akari ga utsu shiteru  
sekai CHUU no toki o tomete  
tojiru kometai kedo  
moshimo futari aeta koto ni  
imi ga aru nara  
watashi wa sou jiyuu o shiru  
tame no BAIBURU.  
Well, back to chaptah 4, we ended chaptah 3 with paullie having a heart attack, but no, she began to scream, then paul came to see what happened.  
Paul said: paullie are you ok, what´s happe—AAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!  
Yeah,paul saw Draic, then the two fellas ran away, but paul almost fell.  
Paullie: HOLY SHIT.  
Paul: HE´S AFTER US!  
Draic: IM BAAAAAAACCCCKKK  
Paullie: where the fuck did I left the car, GODDAMN IT PAUL!.  
Paul: I DON’T WANNA DIE!.  
Paullie: LET´S GO TO THE CAR RIGHT NOW!.  
As the merterns went to paullie´s car, she tried to start, but it seemed that the car´s motor didn’t worked.  
Paullie: GODDAMNIT, WORK FOR FUCK´S SAKE.  
And the car started working.  
Paullie: THANK ARCEUS, LET GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!.  
As paullie was driving, the merterns stopped screaming, they looked at each other, and they screamed again.  
Paullie:WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!  
Paul: IT´S PADRAIC!  
Paullie:WHAT THE FUCK IS A PADRAIC!  
Paullie put her phone on her car´s phone holder, she just phoned her boyfriend: ra´s al ghul.  
Paullie said with tears: Ra´s?  
Ra´s replied: yes,what is it?  
Paullie: I love you, and also.., will you come here?  
Ra´s: of course…, I don’t have anything with timothy..  
Paullie:ok.  
After that paullie went into ragemode, then she put a cd with the music initial D(it was gas gas gas)  
She looked like That road rage face from the Oklahoma driver's ed manual  
As paullie stopped at a near seven eleven, she went out of the car, she saw the worst, the sky was red with black clouds, the four horsemen had arrived, the plagues came,Faber the shadow demon axolotl and his sea-people arrived,and the worst things from hell arrived just to end up everything…  
Paullie was shocked, and then she screamed: YOU ARE TEARING ME APART RATIGAN!  
Paul went out of the car, he said: So..,the prophecy is true.  
Paullie: I need to go to the subdemon.  
Paul:im going to,ok?  
As the go to the sub, meanwhile, basil was sitting on a chair,desperated,like shinji from evangelion,he was a bit worried, but paullie just open the door by kicking it.  
She went towards him, she grabbed basil so violently and then she slapped him.  
She scream: BASIL GET ON THE FUCKING ROBOT!.  
Basil was so nervous and said: w…what… robot?  
Paullie bitch-slapped basil again and said: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU BASIL, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!.  
Basil cried: A RETIRED DETECTIVE!  
Paullie: SAY IT AGAIN YOU FUCK!.  
Basil: a retired detective!  
Paullie: WHAT ARE YOU NOW!  
Basil: NEO, NEEEEEOOOOOOO!  
Paullie: SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE, AAAAAAAAAH!, THAT´S THE WAR FACE, SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE!  
Basil: AAAAAARRRGHHHH!  
Paullie: that’s the Banana I know, know get on the fucking robot.  
Basil: wait, what robot?  
Paullie pointed at the robot: EVA-01  
Paullie:that bot.  
Then paullie throw basil,sending him straight up to the robot.  
Paul walk towards paullie.  
Paullie told to Paul: paul?  
Paul:yes.  
Paullie: lets go.  
And then the merterns went back to action, paul was driving, while paullie was at the top of the car, shooting at the darkest creatures, the goodpeople saw them and cheered them.  
Paullie laughed maniactically and yelled: PRRRIIIIIMOOOO VIIIICTORRRIIIIAAAAA!.  
They arrived to the hill, where it took place everything, as they went to the hill, they saw him, ratigan.  
Paullie: oh,look, who are you?  
Ratigan: children, i´ve waiting for you, especially my sweet moth.  
Paullie: me?  
Paul: you aren’t supposed to be rotting in hell!?  
Ratigan: hell gave me a second chance.  
Paullie: didya stayed in hell?  
Ratigan: yes, don’t remember that both of you sealed me in the depths of the fiery hell  
Faber: case 4 or ratigan case of the cases of paul mertens.  
Ratigan:thanks faber, what I was talking about…yes!, you´re too late kiddos, everything you know,everything you loved, is now doomed!.  
Then EVA-01 appeared.  
Ratigan: what is that?  
Paullie: it´s EVA-01 from evangelion  
Ratigan: what´s evangelion?  
Paullie: you walking fossil.  
Eva-01 head opened, revealing that basil was on that bot, then he fall down.  
Ratigan:Basil?  
Basil:padraic?  
Ratigan: BASIL!  
Basil:Padraic?  
Paullie: Paullie!:  
Ratigan: oh, here it is the one who killed me, and also the one who released me in my stay in hell.  
The mertens were shocked,they looked at each other, paullie looked at basil, she grabbed him and said: YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER, WHAT ARE YOU A TRAITOR!.  
Basil: im sorry.  
Ratigan laughed: he just used the necronomicon just for bring the most important thing for him: me!.  
The mertens: What!?  
Then, the necronomicon from chaptah 1 appeared.  
It said: yes, it was me!.  
Ratigan exclaimed: now with the powers of the necronomicon, I shall rise as the world´s greatest criminal mind again!  
Paul: more like the lamest criminal mind  
Paullie: BRO YOU JUST BURNED!  
Ratigan: what´s a burn?  
Paullielooked at the book: isn’t that the…  
Ratigan: tell me my dear that is the REAL one!.  
Paullie: no,no,no, it was the version that they made to promote the movie: evil dead.  
Ratigan:what!  
Necronomicon: yeah, I was made to promote that movie, so that ritual that made basil was to promote the movie, but it seemed that the lightning was fused with the ritual, making a gate from hell.  
Paullie: and the brophecy is happening right?  
Necronomicon: yes, it´s happening today.  
Basil: so,who has the real necronomicon?  
Paullie exclaimed: ME!  
Paullie took out her necronomicon, known as the REAL necronomicon.  
She explained to them that her maternal granddad gave to her the real necronomicon, and inside the book there´s a note that says: Joseph Curwen sucks!,with love Ergerok. And a photo of Curwen himself.  
Paul asked: say, where´s mok?  
Meanwhile, Mok was at the rooftop of a building, watching the apocalypse while drinking a beer.  
Paul: you told me that I fight like a cow don’t ya?  
Ratigan: well, you fight like a cow.  
Paul: yeah, but I don’t fight like a dairy farmer  
Ratigan: you mocking me aren´t you?  
Paul: oh,no,no,no, RATIGAN LOOK A THREE HEADED MONKEY!.  
Ratigan: where?  
Then Paul started to laugh, that made Ratigan angry.  
Ratigan: Enough for that gibberish non-sense, apart from rising from hell, I wanted to see someone very important,my sweet moth.  
Paullie looked confused: why is everyone looking at me.  
Padraic went towards paullie, he looked said.  
He said: my sweet moth, i´ve passed the worst years in hell,thinking about you, you´re the most precious woman that i´ve seen In my life, please my dear, please go to the fiery place to stay together, forever..  
Paullie: I don’t know you, I don’t care what did you just said, and also, im taken.  
Ratigan:YOU WHAT!.  
Paullie: yes, i´m taken.  
Then Ra´s came to see paullie  
Ra´s: hello everyone.  
Paullie: hi, my sweet peach cobbler.  
Ra´s: isn´t that your dead ex-boyfriend?  
Paullie: what ex-boyfriend are you talking about, you´re my first boyfriend, ra´s  
Ratigan: Ex-boyfriend?  
Paullie: roll the music Quaver!.  
Quaver came with the minion band and he sing this poem.  
``Just right in the heart.  
The criminal mind is now burned  
The tables had turned.  
The overlord didn’t remember him  
Thus the primitia is ending!´´  
Suddenly ratigan disappeared, leaving the squad confussed.  
Paullie: where the hell is that fella.  
Then they saw the horrendous horror, ratigan was now a fusion between zalgo, eldritch and himself,of course. He looked like a eldritchean tangela with 4 eyes filled with rage.  
Paullie: well, that escalated quickly, but where´s ra´s?  
Ra´s was with that eldritchean tangelo.  
Ra´s: I shouldn’t say that  
Ratigan: well if you are with the ones who loves you, I know that im dead, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN.

End of chaptah 4


	5. Chapter 5

The great inhuman catastrophe

Chapter 5: The grand finale

Previously on the great inhuman catastrophe  
Draic: IM BAAAAAAACCCCKKK  
Paullie:WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!  
Paul: IT´S PADRAIC!  
Paullie:WHAT THE FUCK IS A PADRAIC!  
Paullie:BASIL GET ON THE FUCKING ROBOT!.  
Ratigan:my sweet moth, i´ve passed the worst years in hell,thinking about you, you´re the most precious woman that i´ve seen In my life, please my dear, please go to the fiery place to stay together, forever..   
Paullie: I don’t know you, I don’t care what did you just said, and also, im taken.  
Ratigan:YOU WHAT!.  
Ratigan: well if you are with the ones who loves you, I know that im dead, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN.

Where back, this time this is the GRAND finale.  
We start now, the squad were amazed after they saw ratigan´s final fantasy-esque final eldritchean form.  
Basil asked: but what we are going to do!  
???: don´t worry we can help you!  
A voice came from nowhere, but celebi appeared, with Suicune and deoxys!.  
Paullie: deoxys,celebi you are here.  
Paul: I was worried about you!  
Celebi: nah, we´re okay  
Suicune: now it´s time for us.  
Then, Paullie released the rest of her pokemon: dialga, giratina and black kyurem.  
Basil: what is that?  
Paullie:pokemons!  
Basil: what is a pokemon?  
Paullie: those.  
Celebi: well, let’s get started, we are going to attack to this part, so im gonna call the togekiss air forces, deoxys´ll go to that part,black kyurem is going straight up to the tangelean abomination,i´ll go with dialga, okay.  
Paullie: alrighit then, basil to giratina.  
Paul: guys. I´ll go with suicune okay?.  
The paullie and basil ride on giratina, right to the hell-tangela.  
But paullie saw something, it was a group that seemed familiar.  
Paullie: wait a sec, basil.  
The paullie jump down to land on the ground.  
Paullie: wait a sec, you are..  
Thug: we are ex-thugs from Padraic, you´ll pay for this!.  
Then it started a fight just like street fighter, paullie´s moveset was like a combination of scorpion and mortal kombat, ryu and chun li from street fighter.  
4 hours later, she won the fight with a Co-co-co-combo breaker.  
And she went back to giratina.  
They landed with giratina in a place near the hill.  
As they walked, paullie saw a body, she realized that it was deoxys.  
Paullie: Oh my god,Deoxys!  
Basil: is it okay?.  
Paullie: its seems that No.  
Then celebi and dialga came.  
Celebi: what´s happe—ho my arceus  
Dialga: this pokemon need a doctor.  
Celebi: let´s go the near pokemon center!  
As celebi and dialga left the merterns with deoxys, as they walk with giratina.  
Paullie just saw the eldritchean tangelo or whathever.  
Paullie: Ra´s, im gonna save you, thanks to my grappling hook!  
Basil: where did you get that…  
Paullie: well….  
Meanwhile in Gotham.  
Batman: Joker, your joking days are over, you’re gonna sended up to arkham asylum, but first im gonna pick my grappling hook,  
Batman: where´s the…OH GODDAMN IT!  
Joker: hahahaha, it seems that you just got robbed!.  
Now in the city.  
Paullie: where´s it´s ra´s, I was too late to save him, no.  
But ra´s was with them.  
Ra´s: im just here.  
Paullie:ra´s?  
Basil: What?  
Paullie: but how did ya…  
Ra´s: im good at the swording.  
Paullie: that makes a lot sense.  
Basil: well at least my rival didn´t killed your creatures.  
But the fellas saw black kyurem with the enemy.  
Paullie: kyurem,NO!.  
But black kyurem did the pose that goku made when he sacrified just to defeat cell. But kyurem was stabbed and fell down dead.  
Paullie: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Basil: oh my god!.  
Then, Paullie grabbed Basil and said:  
THIS BITCH EMPTY YEEEEEEEEET!  
Paullie van damme-kicked basil, sending him to padraic.  
Then it a black screen appeared, basil woke up in a unknown dimension.  
He saw a Mario head, Mario head said: Have you seen luigi, hmmm?  
As he walked through the dimension, he saw a dark creature.  
???: hello basil,about time, let me introduce, im the almighty eldritch!  
Basil: Paullie told me about you.  
Eldritch: im one of her friends, listen to me basil, I know that you didn’t understand what´s going on, the brophecy, and also that, the brophecy happened also many eons ago, me and the guardians protected the cities and towns, apart from that, you are asking why is changing a lot of things, well you are witnessing a transition, from the detective universe of Arthur conan doyle to the astral and paranormal universe of H.P.lovecraft.  
Basil: so that means..  
Eldritch: that you can change!, only if you believe in yourself and your friends, let me join you to the eldritch, here´s my phone number.  
Basil: but I need….  
Eldritch: yes, I know that you need to defeat to rival who has risen from hell, here´s the ultimate weapon. Well if paullie and paul defeated him with the power of metal, then YOU gonna defeat him….  
WITH THE SWORDO.  
Basil: what is this…  
Eldritch: you don’t like this sacred sword with golden ornaments.  
Basil: I expected more, but im okay with that!  
Eldritch:that´s the spirit, Now Go!  
After that conversation, basil was at the back of the tangelian, holding the sword, he remembered something…  
Roll the flashback!  
Bas was with a drunken Paullie, at one of the places near the mansion  
Paullie: basil, in case to defeat a titan, you must stab it right in the nape.  
Roll to the plot!.  
Then Bagel went to the nape of his monstrous rival, then bagel stab him.  
The tangelian padraic looked behind him, he started to scream, everything rustled, and thus fade to white.  
Bagel woke up in place that looked like the portrait of the end of evangelion,the one when shinji and asuka are staring at Rei´s head, he saw paullie.  
Paullie: I think that it´s the end,right?  
Basil: maybe, but, i´m scared that he would come back to get you like when you and paul sealed him.  
Paullie: Did I that with paul?  
Basil: oh you had that selective amnesia.  
Paullie: is this ended like evangelion?  
Basil: no.  
Paullie: nevermind about that, but hey, my advised are great!  
Basil: thank you, but this time you don’t get drunk.  
Then paullie and basil laughed, but he heard someone saying: ``YO,BANANA, WAKE UP´´  
Basil woke up, he saw his friends, paullie was happy.  
Paullie exclaimed: yo banana, you did it, you save us!.  
Basil: really?  
Paul: yeah, you stabbed him, and everything was sended to hell.  
Paullie: hey look its Mok  
Paul: Mok, how was the apocalypse.  
Mok: Nah, I have seen better apocalypse than that.  
Basil: and how about those creatures, did they died?  
Paullie: no, they told me that black kyurem and deoxys didn’t died, they are now at the pokemon center.  
Paul: hey guys, isn´t that eldritch?  
Eldritch came to see everyone, he was so proud.  
Eldritch: great job everyone, thanks to you, evil was banished again from this city, now, LET´S PARTY!.  
Then eldritch took a CD player, and the cd that contained the song: let´s groove tonight by earth, wind and fire.  
And everyone enjoyed the party to celebrate the defeat of evil!

The end.  
Epilogue:  
The merterns were at the rooftop of a building,passing a football ball like that scene from The Room.  
Paullie: man, Paul, that event that happened last day, it was awesome.  
Paul: yeah, Paullie, best than when the ninjas invaded gotham.  
Paullie: yo, could you imagine the many cases and misadventures we are going to have?  
Paul: yeah.  
Then the mertens high-fived and they started to speak about the next cases.  
But, meanwhile in the netherworld, a bit near from hell.  
At the netherworld tower, Gnarl was holding a photo of the merterns, he looked a bit sad.  
Gnarl: I missed you.  
But suddenly, he saw something that fell from a portal.  
Gnarl: oh my…, I need to advise umbra!.  
Umbra was in a near part of the nether tower, she was reading a book, but she saw falling a person.  
Umbra: umm, I need to fix that portal.  
But she saw the fallen person.  
Umbra: oh hello there, are you okay?  
Then the person ran away…  
Gnarl came to see her, but when he saw that man, he remembered him.  
Gnarl: Umbra!.  
Umbra: hello gnarl, what happened?  
Gnarl: that person is…  
Umbra: the one who ran away, maybe he´s gone.  
Gnarl: don’t worry umbra, i´ll explain this to you, let´s go to the Netherworld tower.

The really end.  
Fic made by Skeletonhypetrain(thenotsomagnificent)  
All the references and characters(mok,basil,etc) are from their respective owners.  
Paul and paullie are from meh.  
Thank you for reading this Fanfic or Parodyfic.


End file.
